For my wife and the mother of my children, Katie


Tired – she rises once again;

Will the children give her grief?

Why another sleepless night?

Why so naughty? Why so obstinate to rest?

She wonders.



Weary – another day; another night

Watching. Feeding. Kissing. Rebuking.

Temper flares, conviction seizes

Where is my patience? Where is my grace?

She wonders



Tender – she sees a smiling face;

The children all adore her

They see in her – safety, supply

And a love that will not die

In their memory am I cranky or kind?

She wonders



Failure – she weeps again

Harsh words quickly spoken

She gathers them in her arms

She kisses their naughty heads

What example am I leaving them?

She wonders



Repentant – she turns again

Just as she did the day before

She prays in silence

Words of love, she offers

What words can a sinner speak?

She wonders



Hopeful – she sees her Savior

Dying on the accursed tree

It was for her failure he was abandoned

Faced his Father’s harsh displeasure

What greater message can I share but this?

My only hope for frailty seen?

She wonders



Forgiven – she knows she is

Trust in her substitute

Peace washes over, no condemnation

She looks at her children

Sinners they are, just like she

What legacy will I leave?

She wonders



Hopeful – new affection rises

Love for God, love for child

In love she tells of His love

Of pardon full and free

Is there any better news than this?

She wonders – aloud



Loving – she repeats once again

Yesterday, last week, last year!

The same good news, fresh and clear

She tells them God is holy

She tells them all have sinned

She tells them Jesus died and rose

Do they understand?

She wonders – aloud



Transformed – before their grubby faces

They see a love, though they know not the words

Mommy has found something precious

That overcomes her scorn

They hear her talk of sin and love, grace free

Forgotten is her angry face

In the light of mercy displayed

She knows not what their minds contain

Nor what their hearts perceive, but…

She wonders



Growing – slow and sure as they

The days and years go by

The grace that saves, grows and shows

A living hope inside

Patience, so elusive, slightly swells it bounds

Do they see the Spirit’s work?

She wonders



Prayerful – she lives each day

Knowing her example to them

Is more of grace than exemplary

Will seeds sown, in failure’s midst

Sprout within their souls?

She wonders



Steadfast – she considers her salvation

How it was by God’s own power

Not by her wise volition

She knows the same is for her children –

True. It drives her again to her knees

When will they say like mommy,

Praise God, Christ died for me?

She wonders



Resting – she sees another day

Failure and victory therein

But still the Gospel is the same

The Sovereign Lord he reigns

Why would I ever doubt him?

She wonders



Joyful – at first mixed with pain

She sees the signs of cursed fall

Each day, selfish, angry, envious

Her children show it all

Wait! Glorious moment!

Why these tears my child?

She wonders



Amazement – at effectual calling

Her child to her replies

I have sinned and deserve God’s judgment

I know I ought to die

But so many times you told me

Of your hope that never fades

This is now my hope of glory

My mercy for today

How can I praise him enough?

She wonders



Contemplative – years have passed

God worked through my failure

To save my children’s souls

Because His word never fails

It does for whatever it goes

What else has God been doing?

Through the pain and mundane?

She wonders