1 John 3:2

Beloved, we are God’s children now, and what we will be has not yet appeared; but we know that when he appears we shall be like him, because we shall see him as he is.

No more pride. No more lust. No more anger. No more envy. No more anxiety. No more doubt.

One day that will be true of me. My heart aches for that. In my 19 years as a Christian there has never been a day that I have not come to end and groaned at my weakness and failure. I long to be completely free from ever warped motive, from every sidewise glance, from every idolatrous fixation. And one day I will be.


Because I’ll  see him.

Because I will see Jesus.

And in that moment all my remaining pride and idolatry will evaporate in the light of his beauty.

I will look on him who was slain for me, who has moved history to make me his own. I will see the scars. I will see the radiance of his perfection. I will be gazing on the most complete and beautiful thing in the universe and just because of that I will be changed into a living mirror. All that is ugly in me will be obliterated.

I will see him and I don’t know exactly what I will see, but I will see him. I will see the one who by God’s grace and power I have come to see by faith as the most precious and wonderful person that ever has been or will be. Now I see him dimly. My flesh and the sin that clings onto me like cataracs clouds my vision from seeing his beauty in its fullness. But I know he is there and that one day I will see him. Not because I have been good. But because he is. Not because I paid my crimes, but because his scars show that he already has.

I long for that. I hope for that. I keep going even as I claw at my chest with languor of longing for a clearer glimpse of his majesty. Because I know that the clearer I see him, the more free I become.

Oh! I will see him! And in an instant my pride will seem so foolish, my anxiety so silly, my lust so disgusting, my lack of assurance so unfounded,  my envy so petty – all because I will suddenly see with clear view that which is of ultimate worth and beauty.

And Oh The Glory!

Because of his cross! Because of his wounds! That glory that would have consumed me will change me! The beauty that would have devastated me will make me whole!

I long for that day. I reach for that day. I want to see his beauty. And I want you to see it too.